I don't Wanna!

      This week on the whole has been fantastic.  I have achieved several personal bests.  Tuesday I ran a complete mile.  And understand, I was the kid in PE during the physical fitness test that never actually completed all four laps around the track and just said I was finished.  And 3 laps still took me around 20 minutes.  I finished a full mile in 13 minutes.  And the whole thing, not just the "ok I'm done" mile.  Wednesday was great as well.  I did most of my work out on the actual bar doing pullups.  They have these great bands that can help, but even so I was off the gymnastic rings and really doing pullups for the first time in my life.  
     This morning was hard.  I woke up in a precocious mood.  I toiled for the first hour I was up about whether I was actually going to go to class today.  I didn't WANNA!  I have yet to skip a class that I planned on attending.  At 10:30 I literally drug myself off of the couch and changed into my workout clothes.  I got in the car, drove to the box, and walked in the door 5 minutes late.  I just was not in the mood if you get my drift! 
     Once I got there, I tried to put all of the "worldly baggage" down.  It was like running on the beach in the soft sand.  I felt every step, every rep, every struggle.  Today was especially hard.  We did an outside workout that consisted of the following:

1 minute each of Tire Flips, Kettle Bell Sumo Deadlifts, Overhead Squats, Sledge Hammer Swings, and Rope Sand Bag Pulls.  Oh and we repeated all of this four times with 1 minute rest in between.  

    I struggled through this whole workout more so than any other the whole time I have been on this adventure.  And trust me, it wasn't a physical struggle, it was mental.  I had a great partner, as we took turns at stations to not get in each others way.  Her name was Jessica.  She was an experienced crossfitter, but from what I gathered, this was her first time at our "box".  She was so encouraging and helped me keep pace with her.  My trainers were also awesome as always.  The three of them offer a different dynamic which compliment each other perfectly.  

  The point is I finished.  I didn't cave.  And now I am completing the second part of my day.  I didn't want to blog today.  I didn't want to talk about a struggle that was mental.  I have always prided myself on being a "strong woman".  Things don't affect me.  So admitting that I have struggles, especially mental ones, is really hard.  But that's when it's most important.  It is often hard for us to admit when we need help.  Need to be pushed a little extra, need a little extra support.  I needed that today, and it came to me without even having to ask for it.  It is the reason I love this program, group of people, family if you will so much.  They have taken the time to get to know me.  Physically, mentally, emotionally.  And when I was at the end of my "rope", they were there to push me, help me, lift me up.  Even when "I didn't wanna" they helped me through it.  Another day down. Another step closer.  


Sometimes even when you "don't wanna", you "haveta".  One foot in front of the other keeps you moving forward.  Thanks CrossFit Amplitude Family for that push.